miss you like crazy.

2007-02-03 / 9:36 p.m.

The cat, I think, is mad at me. I can't blame him. I turned the heat down and left for 48 hours. Now that the initial love-fest of my homecoming has passed, he is skulking around and plastering himself against the heat vents. If I were small enough I would do the same thing. Everyone's blogging about the temperature this weekend, right? It's cold.

My recital in Collegeville went very well, and thrift stores of northeast Wisconsin, how I've missed ye! Bonus of all bonuses: 9 hours of tooling out on the road in my mom's zippy little car. I also went to Megalomart today on my way out of town--remember that place?--and bought a dozen cans of British Heinz baked bans and some HP sauce. It is a little ironic that the Brit is currently in the land of beans and sauce and could be eating them to his heart's content, after he goes hiking in the 50 degree weather in Surrey tomorrow. That adorable jerk.

I thought of two more hide-chapping items from the television ads and wanted to tell you all about them, so that you too could feel repulsed and then I would feel better.

1. Revlon Sugar Sugar Lip Topping. This is one of the grossest product names I have ever heard, and the commercial almost makes me gag, through a combination of hilarity and actual revulsion. The word "topping" is bad enough all by itself, but "lip topping"--all those Ps smacking together digustingly--and then the product itself is the nastiest, frosted--here, I'll just quote the website copy: "Sugary, iridescent pearl powder topcoat decorates lips with a crystal-cut faceted effect." Bleeeeeaaahhhhh.

2. RePHresh, another of the grossest product names ever, is a gel that purports to balance vaginal pH. I dunno. Maybe this is actually a useful product, though there are certainly enough products on the market making vag-havers feel like their stuff is stanky or otherwise wack. At least this one doesn't impose a floral smell upon your flower. What's really gross about the product, besides the name, is the commercial, which continually repeats "rePHresssssshhhhhh." "After douching: rePHressssshhhhh. After intercourse: rePHressssshhhhh. After your period: rePHressssshhhhhhh!" I'm sorry to spell it out for you, but I'm just not quite sure you could understand how grossed out I was when I saw this commercial three times in a row last night. Bleaaaaahhhhhhhh!

All right, the cat's over it. He's sitting draped across my crelbows as I type and he's dribbling and purring. It'll be toasty in bed tonight.

Like the deserts miss the rain,
Maven.

Spinning: Lovely and Amazing.
Feeling: Worn out.
Plotting: Sleeping.

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